Out Of Character

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/f7c132_75c34028a84d44e5b695513170dc87e0/480p/mp4/file.mp4

Out Of Character, I try to be so sedate, but I am not.

Check my expression at the end... that's the mischievous side of me trying to burst out! Will it? Finally? Read on.

I am considered a senior citizen and I cannot think of one time in over six decades that I did anything foolish, silly, or just for fun, especially when there was a cost involved. Well I did something out of character.

Although I have mixed feelings, I have a smile on my face and a wee knot in my stomach. And guess what? I did it just for me, which is also very unusual, although my husband will benefit as well. We both will, hopefully.

People have always said I am too serious, or if they did not say it I am sure they thought it. And yes, I agree with them. A product of my youth and always having to be at the top of my skill level, it is difficult for me to relax, and so I am slowly leaning in to not taking everything so seriously.

The world will not blow up if I make a mistake. The sky will not fall if I publish somthing with a typo or misspelling. It is human to error, and always trying to be a perfectionist takes a heavy toll on both mind and body.

Now my biggest concern which also comes from feeling inferior all my life is how will other people, especially those who know me respond? I know there will be less than stellar comments as some people are very forward in their opinions, while others will be more subtle.

And then the questions will come, bombarding me with interrogation. Or at least that is my perception--that others are always judging me. That too is a heavy burden to carry, as it takes far too much energy to be constantly on alert.

Someone once told me that when I turned 65 I would no longer care what others thought; I am still waiting and I am drawing closer to 70. Ouch! That number and my brain do not connect.

I feel like we are throwing out numbers that have sped up and Father Time whether cruel or not, is speeding up time once we become adults. I wonder--if any one is checking up on this. Might be why we all ask where the time went. Crazy but worth consideration.

I Did IT and I am Still Shaking My Head!

Last thought for this beautiful, though muggy August 4th day, you too, do something foolish, silly, or out of character and record how it makes you feel. Nothing you'll regret, but out of character enough that someone notices.

This is good for us all to do, at least once in a lifetime. Then again... if we do do something like that, isn't that a part of our individuality and character? Food for thought.

And here is my out of character decision. A secondhand, 2005 new to me, rather old but in mint condition PT Cruiser. I just love it! Thanks, Denise and Brian.

I plan to cruise with the top down and a grin on my face. My husband and I will enjoy it hopefully for years to come. Find something to enjoy, everyone; life is too short! Bon Voyage!